nostalgia

drives back home 

take me back in time 

letting me live 

the life i think i miss 

in this car, 

i’m all alone 

but one thing 

that i have found 

is that it will always be 

there 

waiting for me 

no matter how long it takes me to find my way back  

from wherever i have ran off to 

rolling down the windows 

i make my way there 

crying, i don’t know why 

fear of having to stop 

having to be tied down to one place 

to no longer be free 

the fear of containment 

commitment 

fear i have no idea what i am even afraid of 

flying down a state route 

the air blowing in smells familiar 

like sunsets in summertime 

bonfires in october 

it just smells like home 

i don’t know what that is 

but imagine this is what it would smell like 

if home had a smell 

taking a deep breath 

oxygen replaces smoke in my lungs 

as i throw a pack of marlboros under the seat 

like the air i breathe in 

missed me 

remembers me 

even though i have been gone 

for how long i can’t remember 

the moon lends me a hand 

lighting up the bumpy road 

as if it knew  

i needed to see 

the place i so often think of 

the place i can no longer remember by memory 
 

though i am alone 

some would call it lost 

i feel free 

somewhere between 

home and where i am now 

i am nowhere 

but i am in peace 

free to sing and dance 

free make the choices i want 

free to be me 

driving around my hometown 

the roads where i ran from home before i even knew what home was 

as far as i could 

before the county line caught me 

pulling me back 

to that little house 

where i learned 

everything i know 

from a mother that knew 

when a horse wants to run 

there isn’t any sense in closing the gate 

and i will forever be thankful 

for a mother that accepted my need to run free