last train of the night

i always find myself 

chasing people like him 

though, it is a fight I know I will lose 

because, trying to convince him 

not to run or put up a fight 

is like trying to catch 

the last train of the night 

i never really know 

if i will make it in time  

but i would, no doubt  

kill myself trying 

jumping over hurdles 

pushing people out of the way 

making a fool of myself 

for just the chance 

of earning a place in your heart before the doors close and the chains are up 

though, after i have worked myself to death 

and bled myself dry 

to get a seat on that train 

i realize 

the place is trashed 

remnants of lovers past  

in the form of littered love letters 

from people who know the subway 

lovers who know him 

much better than I do 

tear stains from the heartbroken rides home 

were just left to pile up 

no one cared to pick up after themselves 

no one cared to clean up the mess they made of him 

but still, the train cannot run without passengers 

and men like him run off of lost souls 

that are searching for love 

he lures them in with the promise 

of a safe ride home 

a hand to hold until they get there 

and just before he drops them off 

he plants a kiss on their cheek 

spins them around 

and then sends them off into the night 

alone. 

I can’t help but wonder 

if the price I paid 

was just another cheap lesson 

just another notch in his belt 

to make myself feel better 

I tell myself that it really is sad 

that the place is trashed 

my heart begs me to stay 

but, this is the last train of the night 

and my heart doesn’t know it 

but it can’t take much more 

it’s probably best I get off at my stop 

because some battles just cannot be won 

and a mess like that cannot be cleaned by one